Well, yesterday was interesting. The last place I thought I'd be was at the Ted Nugent / Lynard Skynard concert at the local ampitheatre. There's that certain allure when free tickets are oh so handy.
Corporate partner and ace good buddy scores six free tickets. Turns out that free tickets are abundant for this show, seems that Ted and Skynard aren't exactly the Jimmy Buffet of the concert scene, if you catch my drift. We did manage to get watering hole pal Rick to take one.
Then commences a scene that could only happen in America. The three of us all leave (from aforementioned watering hole) for this concert in separate vehicles. Screw gas prices. You don't go out and spend $35k on a loaded SUV to let it sit in somebody's parking lot. Do you?
First thing to know about ampitheatres. Since you can't bring in your own food or drink (and a host of other things) they feel entitled to charge whatever the hell they please for the same creature comforts that they forbid you to carry in. $7 for a (plastic) bottle of beer? $4.50 for a cheeseburger - complete with its' own soggy cellophane wrapper. Capitalism at its' finest.
So we're standing at the top of this grassy hill - hence the name ampitheatre - and watching old Ted flail about. Ted's about the size of a peanut from this distance. The good designers of this place thoughtfully stuck in some large screen moitors so that the far away folks could at least confirm the fact that somebody is on stage.
Three young ladies, let's say they were 19 years old, which is generous, come strolling / bouncing by. And they stop and get into a all so worried conversation amongst themselves about the one thing 19 year old girls have a poor handle on - money. As in, we don't have any. And, like our Lord on the cross, we thirst.
Naturally, corporate partner, a generous and sharing man, is the first to realize their plight. Offers up a dollar, to squeals of delight. Watering hole pal Rick chips in an unknown gob of change fished from his shorts. More squeals. Now the girls are absolutely jiggling (and yes, there are certain pleasant aspects to all that). And they turn expectantly to me.
Most of my acquantances know me as a fun, yet stuffy sort. Always want to know the details. Always need a little information.
So it was not suprising that I say "You know that beer is $7 a bottle? You're gonna split a $7 beer between the three of ya?" Hell, for $7 you could buy a six-pack.
So then the cutest one kinda makes that face. You know, the little dimply one with the eyes that go all soft and the grin. Cain and Abel had a bit of a tussle after the wife sported one of those faces, as I recall.
Sigh. So I go for the wad of cash. I forgot that the evil bartender had given me change for my tab. From a $100 bill. And she's the kind of barkeep who bears a grudge, so I had enough lettuce from that 100 to make a fair salad. I mean I probably had 65 paper bills of various denominations in there. When cute girl got a look at that I thought she was gonna do unmentionable things with plastic implements.
I peel off 3 bucks and hand it over. Now they're really hopping. Whoo hooo, we got 7 dollars. And cute girl kinda starts the rush to hug yours truly and then gets kinda nervous/embarrassed/giggly. So I have to settle for a hug from the big boned in overalls girl instead.
They run off to spend their hard earned cash (probably at the nearest weed vendor) and Rick, ever the insightful one, observes "Can you imagine what a twenty would have got you?"
It's a bitch having cash. And an SUV. And free tickets. God I'm getting old.
For those who aren't sure - Yes, mine is probably the ugliest of sites on this entire board. Fret not, I'm in the mood for improving. And any / all suggestion will be appreciated.
Just don't expect a black background with devil heads or anything.
previous - next
0 comments so far