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Sunday, Feb. 03, 2002
I had this epiphany moment last night while listening to this band. I have discovered how the aliens will invade, and where they will come from.

They are, in fact, already here.

Because you can find at least one of them at any live music lounge in the world. They come disguised as a slightly gray haired fellow wearing a blue blazer and black shoes. A normal looking man, perhaps a bit youngish in the face for all that gray hair but otherwise ordinary. His distinguishing trademark, and what sets him aside from the balance of the males in the joint is that this guy dances to every danceable tune there is!

Remember, every lounge has at least one. He dances with more than one woman, and all the women giggle and are entranced and fondly try to catch his attention when their favorite tunes come up. The men generally hate him because they get poked in the ribs afterward and chastised for their lack of Fred and Ginger skills.

Black shoes akimbo, he hunches slightly forward and twirls the partner, rhythm and shoes, never missing a beat, until the end of the song when he gives a proper gentlemanly hug to the lady and retreats to his booth. Or wherever he goes. I can't properly recall ever seeing one of these alien rug-cutters in a bar unless they're dancing.

They're out there, and they're waiting to strike. You heard it here first. Rest assured, I ain't one of 'em.

It fell to me to play computer consultant yesterday. Ally, being the team mom and treasurer of my eldest's traveling softball team received a blessing from the board to purchase a new laptop computer to be used for the accounting and team related computer requirements. They actually gave her a fairly generous budget to work with for her shopping.

(Let me interject here that yes, there really is a board of people who govern a fastpitch softball team and yes, they really do have enough money to buy laptop computers. When you raise funds for the team by hosting bingo every weekend, you would not believe how the dough flows. Let's just say it's south of 3 million annually in gross revenues, and you take it from there.)

Buying a laptop is now a right of passage for anyone serious about the world of computing. It is a not-so-frequent hobby of mine to buy a computer magazine and read all the ads (which is where all the real information is, don't you know) so that I can keep current on what is hot and how the industry is changing and what I'd really like to buy that I can't afford. I've been doing this since Bill Gates was not yet a millionaire. Some of you weren't even born yet.

It still blows me away that you can buy a very fine desktop machine for less than a grand.

You can't do that with a laptop. But you can do pretty well for less than $2,000.

We trekked to CompUSA for a look-see. After I salivated for a while in front of the wafer thin LCD monitors my eldest (rather pointedly) directed me to the laptop section where they were lined up like candy bars on a display rack. The polo shirted salesman (salesboy?) managed to tear his eyeballs off Beth long enough to inquire as to my health and ask if there was anything he could help me with.

Outfoxed: "Nah. Thanks but we're just looking."

In the history of sales, the caveman who poked around the rock quarry in search of a nice piece of flint probably made the same reply to the same salesman in the same way.

SalesYouth: "Lemmee show you this one over here, we just got it in."
Outfoxed: "That's okay, I got it. Just looking."
SY: "It's a Sony, you know. Fine machine."
OF: "Sonny, I've got more Sony products in my den than you have in this store."

That might actually be true. Audiophiles do tend to obsess with the component thing.

No, I didn't buy anything.

Not yet. Spending other peoples money is always a priority in how I schedule my day. Which is as it should be.

My kids do it all the time. Trouble is, the 'other people' in their case is me.

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